Welcome to Keep in Mind! I’ll be sharing some of my adventures in the world of belief and musing on why people believe the things they do. First up this week I share some of my foray into the world of Mormonism. My friend Carrie and I have a podcast titled, appropriately enough, “Oh No, Ross and Carrie!” Presumably this is what people exclaim when the two of us appear and start asking questions. The idea is that we show up so you don’t have to. Carrie and I spent over six months investigating the Mormon Church (they call seekers “investigators”!), getting baptized and confirmed, and then figuring out what to do afterward. I recommend listening to those episodes for the full story.

After attending church at my ward one Sunday morning, I had to drive down to West Los Angeles to record an interview. I figured I might as well make a day of it and stop by the Mormon Temple on Santa Monica Blvd.

Or better yet, here’s how it looks if you poke your camera through the imposing exterior fence.

This building is a familiar sight for Angelinos, but much like Mordor, one does not simply walk into a Mormon Temple. Even I, a recently baptised member of the Church, would have to be a member for a year, faithfully pay one tenth of my pre-tax earnings, and correctly answer a series of belief questions to earn a “temple recommend”. Only with this document can one enter the temple. So, nice visit. Time to go home..

But wait! There’s a Visitor’s Center! I figured I’d stop by and see what they’ve got to offer. After walking a long ways around the metal fence (turns out there’s a large parking lot off Eastborne Ave, but I did not know this), I approached the Visitor’s Center to the North-East of the temple.

Upon entering, you are quickly greeted by two elders who have been waiting by the front desk for your arrival. In my case it was two young women on missions from two native countries – the Dominican Republic and Bolivia. English was clearly not either woman’s first language, but each made a valiant effort. When asked how much time I had to look around, I said, “Hmm… maybe, half an hour?” The missionaries looked crestfallen, but said they’d show me what they could in that short time. By this point I’d already informed them that I was a baptised Mormon, but apparently that doesn’t matter: my guides launched immediately into a pitch for the Church as if I’d never heard of it before. Our first stop was a room to the immediate right, painted with a vista of sky and sea and containing a gigantic statue of Jesus. I was urged to sit on a bench in front of Jesus and they hit a button to begin his recording:

After this awkward interlude my Dominican Republic friend had questions ready, “So what are the things that he said; like how do they make you feel? Like the promises that he gives us and who he is and what he wants us to do?” I said something about how his words are very important if they are true. She talked more about how Jesus wants me to have peace, and then asked me how I felt during the recording. “Um, well, I guess I felt pretty good. Happy? I certainly didn’t feel any worse.” This continued on for a while, until I had them take a picture of me next to Jesus:

Next they wanted to take me to see “God’s Plan for His Family”. This was in a long room with glass doors (did I mention a lot of money went into this place?). There were three widescreen monitors on the wall and a homey motif complete with fireplace. The rest of the wall was an approximation of Arches National Park in Utah. They sat me down on a bench and continued to ask me open-ended questions. “What was your memory you have in your family? A special memory, maybe?” I said something about the birth of my son, which made my interlocutor happy. She and her partner then moved over on the side of the room to watch my reactions as I viewed the seven minute presentation.

The video took turns jumping between the three monitors, and I was introduced to a nuclear family with a father, mother, daughter and son. The family fretted as the son almost fell off a cliff and contemplated the fragility of life. They lost a grandfather and contemplated the eternal nature of the family (the reason given for believing this is that it sounds nice). The father learns to put aside his work to play baseball with the children. One child asks why grandma’s hands are so wrinkly. “Because grandpa’s holding them all the time.” All very nice and saccharine sweet, with heartwarming music and high production values. Not unlike a Folgers commercial.

The awkward, open-ended questions continued. “So what did you like the best?” I said I liked it when they played baseball, because that was nice. The missionary agreed, reminding me that it shows that family comes first. No argument there. This was followed by more discussion of the eternal nature of the family, and how I should try to convince my wife to join the Church. “Bring her here with you!”

I reminded them that I didn’t have much longer to spend, so they gave me a quick overview of the other features within the Visitor’s Center. There was a small room with pictures of the Prophet of the Church Thomas S. Monson, a video screen with one of his sermons, and framed photos of the current crop of twelve apostles – all men, all white, all old. Another exhibit in the center had booths where one could hear snippets from the Book of Mormon in different languages and hear testimony from various members of the Mormon Church – a campaign apparently designed in response to the Broadway success of Book of Mormon the musical. Finally there was a fake stone entrance along the back wall that I just couldn’t resist. The missionaries let me wander off on my own…

This little room was made up to look like an first century scriptorium, complete with scrolls and jars and lamps. Most impressive. There was also a scale model of Jerusalem, and the ever-present paintings of Jesus. But most arresting was an interactive touch screen which lets you choose areas from Jesus’s life. The big screen on the wall then displays a CG-rendered fly-over of the spot in question. Again, very impressive. Here’s a couple I recorded:

After this I figured I’d seen enough for one day, but I highly recommend checking this place out if you’re in the area. Just be prepared for some very attentive hosts equipped with some awkward questions. Tell them you’ve got limited time, or else you’ll be there all day. I waved good-bye, hiked back to my truck, and chuckled as I passed a very apropos construction sign.

The golden plates have gone missing, but there are steel plates ahead!